Truthfinder—The End of the Beginning

Time’s up. The Red Light is on. 

The validation of the truths I have asked myself during my childhood days until my college days, when I have written the essay, Red Light, is finally answered—and with glittering lights.  

It took years of trivial questions, many uncertainties coupled with sorrows before I heard the calling, of which I believe was from God. The path I traveled before finally adhering to the word of God is not easy. It took several twists and turns, some bump on the wood experiences. I had the rollercoaster ride of my life, doing several things at a time anchored with no less than the wrong kind of faith.

The biggest turnaround of my life came. A swift realization has dawned on me when my dear mother died. It was as if a big joke, death has caused me to see the meaning of life. Her lost engulfed me to a deep realization that there must be some biblical truth about man’s purpose on earth, why there is life, there is death. 

Ten years have passed by, I remember the child in me asking what life will be like by aged 22. When I reached 22, I didn’t expect to be parted away from my mother. It was also then that I realized life is not an eat to live, live to work process.  

Unable to understand the true meaning of life from Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, from which I quoted several lines to incorporate in my mushy Red Light essay for the school paper, I resort to the Bible.  

The Bible is my comfort escape-goat after my mother was buried. Because those are the days that haunt me the most—the succeeding days proved she is no longer with us. I search for wisdom, I grapple for the truth, I wonder what it feels to be dead.  

Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

The truth is screaming out loud right in front of my face. I was in high school then when mother would drift off to sleep watching Ang Dating Daan, however, the truth went unnoticed while I continue my quest.  

It was like a soft tap on my back, a sweet whisper heard in the deep recess of my heart that I decided to attend the mass indoctrination. God answered my prayers and never ending questions right when I truly needed it. I believe He called upon me at the right time, when I felt tired and worthless doing the same work routines and pretentious lifestyle everyday of my ordinary life.  

I also believed that aside from Bro. Eli, He also used my mother as the closest instrument for me to be in the old path. She died few hours after attending the prayer meeting. I wonder what her last prayers are all about.  

The moment I decided to attend the mass indoctrination almost seven months after she was buried, I knew what kind of life awaits me. I knew that women in the Church wear skirts and not jeans, I knew that they are not allowed to cut hair. Hence, I prepared myself to accept all of these as well as the rest of the teachings I haven’t heard before. 

I geared myself with prayers and supplications that I may follow His teachings and never be parted at all. 

From the day I re-tie the knot with God I felt a great sense of direction in life. I realize there is no such thing as unanswered prayer. If God sees in a man’s heart that he is ready to be enlightened and willing to follow His teachings, He will help him and give him a new heart and a new spirit.  

Ezekiel 36:26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. 

Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 

My Red Light drama back in college is finally answered as well. It is written that we must put our God-given talents to good use and for the glory of God.  

Romans 12:6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.